Eight is not Enough
My (Melanie’s) parents sent us a copy of an opinion page article entitled Eight is not Enough a few weeks ago and I found it online so that I could share it w/others. Just click on the link to read it, and note that there is a page of responses to the article you can also read via a link at the bottom of that page which was interesting as well.
Now that we are among the very small minority with four children, I can say we get both comments and stares when we go out in public. Not that there aren’t plenty of others we know both from church and from school who also have large families. But we are surprising to many people. And yes, we’re tired (hence why I’m not writing much these days - no time). We don’t expect many invitations to dinner, we have little to no room in the car for carpooling or toting people around, we are much more limited in our ability to get out and about, and there are certainly more people and activities (and doctors’ appointments!) to keep track of. Not to mention the laundry and toys and baths and meals and fingernails to tend to.
Our children do tend to mind us, and we’ve taught them things like “hold the (stroller) strap” or “hold the cart” or whatever to keep them “in line” (sometimes literally) and with us when we cross streets, walk through parking lots, and go shopping. They tend to be polite, they tend to respect their elders, and they are generally nice children to be around. They do also have lots of energy (especially Emily!). And they are sinners like everyone else and are not at all perfect. Of course, they are not always well-behaved, and we truly do appreciate those who are understanding and gracious in public on the occasions where they aren’t. But we have trained them and continue to train them and have the expectation of them that they will obey, that they will practice good manners, and that they will learn to behave appropriately both in public and in private. Funny that I agree with the anecdotal evidence that families with more children do tend to be “nice” families and the children grow up “well” (though there are exceptions), and that the worst behaved children I know are often if not always from smaller families, esp. those with two children. Perhaps it’s because with only one child, the child does tend to “get more attention” and is therefore “well-trained” even if they are also spoiled. I say this to simply observe that bigger families are not at all what people think they are, and those of us who have more children, for whatever our reasons, are usually judged prematurely. People see us coming and expect chaos. They hear I have four close together and they wonder how I do it (I admit I’m still wondering too - it is busy - but I don’t think they are thinking the same thing as I am).
In any case, I hope you’ll enjoy the article, as I know many of you who read this also have or have had or would like to have a “big” family. It’s fun. The kids are anything but lonely and bored, and life is very full, if also busy, in a very sweet way. God has been so very good to us and we rejoice in that. I appreciated my parents sending this to me as encouragement, and so I share it with you as well if you, like me, can use it, or if you simply like good reading about cultural trends.
